Blacklovecipher’s Blog

“To Seek, Say, & Live the TRUTH!”

Logiqally Speaking On Parent Relationships…

I’ll say this briefly…clearly the kind of relationships we enter into (both platonic and romantic) are a reflection of the examples that we witnessed in the home, for better or worse. For most children, our parents are our first and most lasting reference for how we should navigate our own human interactions. That being said, It breaks my heart to hear how we hurt each other because we don’t know how to communicate our feelings without hitting someone or being maliciously manipulative, simply because our examples were weak. I thank GOD for my mother! Man! She was/is the business!!! Thank you for providing me with positive examples of how one should treat others, in any situation. You did it despite an absent father and very few consistent male supplements. I hope I don’t disappoint.
Long-Live…Tha Love!


April 12, 2009 Posted by | Momma's Baby, Daddy's Maybe | , , , , | Leave a comment

My dad was my hero…..

My parents never got married.
As a matter of fact, I was a “love child”.
My father could have easily decided NOT to take care of me.
But, he was a real man.
My dad died for me January 2009.
There was no maybe – I was my daddy’s baby.

April 11, 2009 Posted by | Momma's Baby, Daddy's Maybe | , , | Leave a comment

For our Daughters…

There’s no better way to put it, so I’ll let John Mayer speak where my words fail…
Seven Sevens

“Fathers be good to your daughters,
Daughters will love like you do.
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers,
So mothers be good to your daughters too”.
John Mayer

April 11, 2009 Posted by | Momma's Baby, Daddy's Maybe | , , | Leave a comment

BLC Session II: Momma’s Baby, Daddy’s Maybe

We’re gettin ready for tomorrow’s second cipher session!!!

Momma’s Baby, Daddy’s Maybe is
OPEN 4 Discussion…

Any LOVE to share???

April 11, 2009 Posted by | General, Momma's Baby, Daddy's Maybe | , | Leave a comment

A Call for Testimonials…

Hey Black Love Cipher Members!!!

Please tell us and our viewers how you felt about the first Black Love Cipher Session: The Unreality of Reality Television???

We want to hear from you!!!

BLC Founders

April 2, 2009 Posted by | General | | 5 Comments

Welcome to our PROJECT: Black Love Cipher

March 13, 2009 Posted by | Black Love, Welcome To Black Love Cipher | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Full Life, even without Television.

A Full Life, even without Television.

By: Dawn R. Johnson, “The Self-Esteem Queen”™

I must be honest:  At one point in my life, I didn’t know who in the World Dave Chappelle was. I sat in a living room with a group of colleagues watching (I learned shortly after) the best selling DVD of all time. I watched his comedy skits, famous to the world, as he spoofed the Internet, Rick James, and Samuel L. Jackson. I laughed along with my colleagues, but they were laughing with the familiar pleasure that people get when watching something that they have seen several times before. Ironically, the fact that I had not seen the show was almost as funny to my colleagues as the show itself. I laughed with the open hilarity of one watching something funny for the very first time which caused one of my colleagues to ask me, “What, don’t you own a television?” “No, I don’t,” I responded as courteous as I could.

My not owning a television became the topic of discussion for the rest of the evening sending Dave Chappelle’s comedic skit of a Black President Bush to the backburner. Since I now courted all attention, I explained my take on television. As a child growing up, my parents did not put a huge emphasis on television watching. My mother and father, both entrepreneurs, encouraged me to participate in events that had more to do with my education and less to do with television. I did not grow up watching MTV, BET, or ABC. I was not educated on life by “The Cosby Show”, “The Wonder Years”, or “A Different World” because my parents felt that my education was their responsibility. Instead of television, my parents took my siblings and I on college campus tours, to the San Francisco Symphony, the San Francisco Mint, and to historical California Spanish Missions. I did not have a desire to watch actors on television act out fictitious renditions of life when I had a life of my own to live.

In high school, I spent my time doing extracurricular activities in church, school, and volunteer work. I equated television watching with time wasting, and spent my high school years playing basketball, wrestling, and participating in debates. When my day ended, I slept in silence. This did not seem like something strange to me; however my colleagues started to laugh and were very entranced with what they now considered to be my “very strange life”. In college, I was accepted to a 4 year university, and I had the assistance of private scholarships. As a student on academic scholarships, I had to work harder to ensure that I kept those scholarships. That meant more studying, which meant less television. I did not have time to party and hang out. I did not have time to sit with my roommates to watch the latest “Jerry Springer” episode.

I was taught to believe that I am responsible for my future. If an area of my life experienced any sort of lack, my parents told me the first place to look would have to be myself. I spent my college years studying, working hard to achieve my goals, and setting myself up for my future. After college I went into the corporate office, which meant late hours, which in turn meant less television. As I listened to the conversations at my first corporate experience, I noticed that all my co-workers spent their “down time” talking about the latest “drama” on their favorite television show. I felt like an outsider each time this happened because I did not watch television and could not participate in their conversation. Was it me, or was I the only person that felt there were more important things to do than assist the rich in staying rich while I remained in a lower tax bracket? I grew tired of the corporate world in less than a year, and I moved on to entrepreneurship. As a child, I watched my entrepreneur parents manage two separate companies, so I knew starting my own business equaled putting extensive man hours in marketing, planning, and brand building, which again left no time for television.

My disciplined schedule of working at a corporation by day while pursuing my dreams at night did not allow me time to watch television. By this point I had a small 13 inch television that someone gave to me out of pity. After a while, it became apparent that my TV, slowly but surely being buried beneath an ever-increasing layer of clothes or paperwork at any given time, was quite unnecessary to my life, and I finally gave the thing away to a neighbor who did not have one. My neighbor was actually very appreciative of that television and watched it more than I ever did. She even commented that the picture was “just like new”.

Aware of the plight of the homeless and outcast in Los Angeles, I began working with Skid Row drug addicts and teen prostitutes, taking some of them into my own home, while feeding and clothing others. Each of these events took up time which meant that television was out of the picture. At this point in my life, television was a mute subject to me. I was not surrounded by people who questioned my hobbies, so no one knew that I did not own a television. I also began participating in sports that I would have shunned before, such as mountain climbing, sky-diving, and bungee jumping. I had so much fun doing these activities that by the time I was done there was only time to sleep.

“What about the news?”, one of my colleagues asked me. “Talk radio has the latest news”, I answered, “Which I listen to in the car.” Radio seemed to appeal more to my brain than my heart, tended to be more honest about the facts and at least gave the appearance of being more balanced regarding opinions. “What about your spare time”, I was then asked. Again, between activism, building a business, traveling, studying to obtain another degree, politics, building websites, sky diving, working out, re-learning to play the clarinet and then finally getting some sleep, there was just no time left to watch twenty beautiful models compete for the attentions of that matinee idol Flavor Flav (that’s called sarcasm—extreme sarcasm).

What started off as a necessity to graduate in high school became my lifelong practice for success. I do not begrudge those who watch television; however I know that I personally am more productive, more well-rounded, and – dare I say, happier because I have a life full of excitement and pleasure. I do not feel like I am missing out on anything important in life because I do not own a television. I believe there is a direct link between television addiction and mediocrity. I am not saying that every single person that watches television is addicted, but I have found that those who watch endless amounts of television don’t have the same drive as me, and they therefore don’t understand my need to stay productive.

To be fair, I believe that there are a number of quality shows on television that continue to educate and enhance the lives of others. I take no issue with these shows. The fact remains that my upbringing as a child molded me to the person I am today. Not owning a television may seem like a sad thing to the average American, but if you ask anyone around me they will tell you I am very happy without one. Having to explain to others why I don’t watch television has become a pastime I would rather pass up.

Rest assured however – once I return from Canada, complete my pilot lessons, finish writing this grant for assistance for teen mothers, start on the script for my autobiography, and complete my lecture on racism to the students at Loyola Marymount University, maybe I’ll take a couple hours, go to a neighbors house, and watch Dave Chappelle on DVD. That Rick James bit just cracks me up.

March 9, 2009 Posted by | The Unreality of "Reality" Television | , , , , | 2 Comments

Logiqally speaking…

I find it difficult to believe that anyone can take these shows seriously.  But the entertainment value is clear.  However the inundation of this type of media is becoming a drain to our psyche, our society, and our time.  So it worries me when people waste too much energy on them.  It’s as if they’ve brought your local tabloid magazine to life.  Part of me wants there to be more shows that display “regular” life, because in my opinion the real world is JUST as entertaining without faking the funk.  Then on the other hand, why can’t we just keep some shit to ourselves.  I guess on some level our obsession with “reality tv” is a reflection of the insatiable curiosity human beings have for one another, which borderlines on nosiness.  We know these reality TV shows are just something else to open our mouths about–at the job, at mall, or at church–in order to pass the time.  I get it, I get it…it’s an easy way to escape stressful times (and I indulge in it sometimes too).  But think of what more we could do with life if we spent less time worrying about the fakeness of other human “actors” and focused more on the real shit of our lives.  We got too much to do y’all!!! Way too much living to do…

“Long-Live tha love!”


March 9, 2009 Posted by | The Unreality of "Reality" Television | , , | Leave a comment

A recipe for what’s real, or is it?

“Now come on everybody, let’s make cocaine cool

We need a few more half naked women up in the pool

And hold this MAC-10 that’s all covered in jewels

And can you please put your titties closer to the 22s”

                                       -Lupe Fiasco


A recipe for TV Land infamy and the ritualistic policies and procedures for the first two episodes of any season of MTV’s the Real World, but is it really the REAL world?


Take a few moments to investigate the Who’s Who of reality TV royalty. The bachelors, survivors, English nannies, the Bad Boy Thursday night block party, the group of seven people who “find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real” only to have producers purchase alcohol to CREATE a more interesting environment and edit a fifteen minute fight to make it seem as though it was a 12-round bout, and last but not least, my personal favorite, the entourage of women who go out of their way to show their dedication, support, and undying love for Flavor Flav.


No, this is not the real world, it’s the world according to rating hungry producers and money hungry networks. I am not denying that I have not indulged in a few programs or episodes for the same reasons as many of you, but what leads us to turn the channel to these programs? What possesses us to give of our time to watch them and our oxygen to speak to others about this tomfoolery? What is so fascinating about this unreality that we call reality TV?


Just as Lupe Fiasco, I too “thank all the televisions out there that raised me” but I am much more grateful for those who taught me to recognize the difference between reality and MTV*. But what about you? If you are what you eat, and if you believe everything you read, then do you begin to enact that which you see on TV in your own lives? Think about it and let me know. BlackLoveCipher…coming to a couch near you!!



                                                                                                            Seven Sevens


*Although MTV is referenced several times, it is only a microcosm of the reality TV industry and the programs its produces. 

March 9, 2009 Posted by | The Unreality of "Reality" Television | , , | Leave a comment

giSweet is going on a “Reality” Television diet.

“Your values are in disarray, prioritizing horribly.”

T.I. said that. I carefully considered these words before writing this blog. I have something to share with you about a lesson I am in the process of learning. I invite you to learn with me as I continue on my journey of BECOMING.


I have learned…

  • That what goes through the human eye gate makes a VIVID impression!
  • Much valuable time is WASTED in front of the television!
  • While we are spending hours of our time watching re-runs of reality television, other people are manifesting THEIR DREAMS (to find love, to win money, etc) and we have DENIED ourselves that same amount of time to manifest OUR OWN.
  • That many parents ALLOW “reality” television to become a baby-sitting service.
  • That children, teens, AND adults have become absorbed in the fantasy world of television (The Unreality of Reality TV, as my Mentor, the SEQ, calls it)
  • That most of what I see on television does NOT look like MY VALUES.
  • The wild, disrespectful, and morally non-compliant men and women portrayed on reality TV are not healthy nor are they good general representations of what is real.

Things you should know about giSweet…

  • I am NOT ANTI-Television.
  • I LOVE to sit and watch movies all day long after a week of hard work.
  • I do NOT have a closed eye to “REAL” life issues. I, however, would like to visually experience other REAL issues that are “positive” …because THEY ARE OUT THERE.
  • I am ANTI- unproductively using the time God gave me.
  • I am ANTI-wasting God’s time.
  • I am grateful for the opportunity to be alive; therefore, I am FOR utilizing the TIME we have on earth WISELY.
  • I take nurturing the GIFTS God gave me SERIOUSLY.
  • I UNDERSTAND THAT I HAVE A PURPOSE…many of which cannot be fulfilled by watching TOO MUCH television.

I do not ask that you GIVE UP television, nor that you join me in my fast. We all have our individual lessons to learn.

I do urge you to ask yourself…

  • Is what you watch on television a representation of YOUR values?
  • Are you disgusted by some of the images you view on television BUT CONTINUE watching??? (I am GUILTY as charged!)
  • Have you replaced watching TV with spending quality time with your family and friends today?
  • Have you been PROCRASTINATING on a dream you’ve thought up and find yourself WATCHING other people daring to dream?
  • Have you spent less REAL time with God and more time watching reality TV?

Let’s take it back…

“Your values are in disarray, prioritizing horribly.”

T.I. said that. I am convicted. I am guilty of prioritizing horribly. I complain about what’s on television, yet, I STILL watch it. A better world begins with ME. So I have decided to go on a reality television diet (FAST) and spend more time with God, praying and listening. Quiet/Meditation time brings insight that cannot be yielded in a room full of noise.

I am on a road of re-prioritizing the values of my life:

  • I value my ability to please my Creator. I CAN do this by spending less time watching others (on television) and more time BECOMING WHO I AM.
  • I value nurturing my relationships (familial, platonic, and romantic).
  • I can perfect my relationships by spending MORE time on healing them, making them healthier, and thus more pleasant to participate in.
  • I value ME! When I do not like what I see on reality television I remember that I have MY OWN VISION, AND THAT’S REAL!

March 8, 2009 Posted by | The Unreality of "Reality" Television | , , | Leave a comment